Happy Humpday everybody!

I imagine every day for the next few weeks will be a humpday seen as everybody has got the hump about being on lockdown.

That was a bad joke, wasn't it? Some might say Dad joke but I wouldn't know because I don't have one.

You can laugh at that.

Right, moving swiftly on. I hope being self-isolated isn't making you too crazy. I must admit that yesterday I was feeling incredibly irritable, grouchy and tired but today I seem to have turned a new leaf and I think the main reason for this is because I have started running.

I could bitch and moan about how sore my thighs are and how tender my feet are because holy shit they both kill like a bitch. But I'm going to try and be positive. I managed to go on a second 7km run today - 2 days in a row now I'll have you know! I did the same route as I did yesterday and I did it 9 minutes faster. So let's celebrate that!

As well as the endorphins from exercising helping this moody bitch out, last night I had the realisation that perhaps another one of the reasons I was feeling so sluggish was because I was doing nothing but sitting around the house in my loungewear looking and feeling like an absolute slob. So yes I shall be getting dressed into my usual day-wear just to sit in the living room and garden and I am most likely going to fake tan tonight because fuck it!

I also figured that if this self-isolation shit is to continue for a long-ass time then I'm going to need some form of routine. So as of today, my routine is going to look a lil' something like this:

  • 07:00 – Get woken up by the heavy-footed elderly folk who I'm living with.

  • 07:30 – Go back to sleep once they leave the house to do their jobs. (Key workers)

  • 10:00 – Wake up when my alarm goes off and lounge in bed catching up on all those messages and dick pics* I have been inundated with throughout the night. (*I wish)

  • 10:30 – Make a healthy breakfast and wash it down with a Green Tea and pint of water.

  • 11:00 – Cleanse, Tone and Moisturise and brush those pearly whites and most likely watch some shit reality TV show on Hayu.

  • 12:00 – Go on a dog walk with our Trace.

  • 13:00 – Time to relax with some form of Herbal tea.

  • 14:00 – Go on a 7km run. (I know I'm only meant to leave the house once but sue me. I'm by myself and running in an isolated area.)

  • 15:00 – Moan about how achy you are.

  • 15:15 – Do a few weights/ sit-ups/ press-ups.

  • 15:30 – Shower, wash hair, dry hair and wear an outfit other than lounge-wear.

  • 16:00 – Make something substantial to eat as this will most likely be your last meal of the day.

  • 17:00 – Write a new blog and do some creative work for the clothing brand.

  • 17:05 – You will probably get sent 14 Tik-Tok videos from Jodie and you will definitely watch all of them and more.

  • 17:30 – Realise you've fallen into a Tik-Tok hole and crack on with being creative.

  • 19:00 – Try to resist having a beer.

  • 19:15 – Try harder to resist having a beer.

  • 19:30 – Eat a fat slice of cheese to distract from the craving of beer.

  • 19:55 – Realistically you're going to have a beer so figured I would schedule it in.

  • 20:00 – Time to unwind and be sociable and watch some shit TV.

  • 21:30 – Video chat with friends seen as you won't be able to physically interact with them until 2027.

  • 22:30 – Overthink about life.

  • 23:00 – Watch something to make you laugh before bed. Something along the lines of Nighty Night/ The Comeback/ Summer Heights High.

  • 00:00 – Dead to the world.

Evidently, the routine is basic as fuck (like me) but I have pretty much followed it all today and my mind feels a hell of a lot saner than it did yesterday.

I won't lie and say I'm not knackered because I am ex-haust-ed! But I'm putting that down to the 7km run that I went on.

Did I mention that the run was 7km? I don't think I've mentioned the 7km run too many times throughout this post.

You're all probably relieved that this blog is a hell of a lot shorter than usual but I thought whilst in isolation I might as well give you a little isolation diary.

Tomorrow I'm thinking of maybe posting something a little different and maybe reviewing some stuff. So it would be like a lifestyle blog. Why not aye?

Oh, would you look at that? It's almost time for a beer!

I've timed that well.


- Jordan



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